9 Health and Wellbeing Resolutions Everyone Can Achieve
It’s the start of a new year. Is there anything more compelling than a clean slate? It all but begs for a new diet and a chance to make this the year you finally reach your goal weight. That used to be me, a reset to buckle down, engross myself in a diet and finally achieve thin thighs. But no more. While I still lament how I look and think I could be thin (or thinner, as what constitutes thin is very subjective), the reality is that I’ve weighed essentially the same for more than a decade, give or take a few pounds. My body is comfortable here. I regularly work out, although with less maniacal intensity and duration than year’s past, and I still eat treats on a daily basis. I accept that my weight waxes and wanes and at the start of a new year, I try to focus on attributes I’d like to cultivate that have nothing to do with how I look.
Over the past several years I’ve endeavored to be bolder and freer and banish self-doubt about whether I’m deserving or worthy (I’ve been pretty successful on this front). One year it was to only eat treats that were truly special or delicious (I had high hopes but ate a lot of mediocre treats). This year is poised to be one of great change and my goal is to approach it with grace and humility and to treat everyone with empathy or compassion. That’s a tall order as I am often infuriated by people who commit some minor transgression but will endeavor to do my best.
I’ve also focused on being kinder to myself, in mind and body. That, too, is often easier said than done as how you feel in one area of your life often bleeds over into others. I’ve lost approximately 100 pounds and have maintained it for almost 15 years. As amazing as it is, it doesn’t feel nearly that long, and I still remember how much I was tormented by my weight (and occasionally still am). So, I can’t help but think how different my new year’s goals are now than in the past. I’ve learned a lot about health and wellness and the importance of the mind/body connection, and I think my goals now are applicable – and achievable – to everyone.
Start and end your day by focusing on the positive. This has become very buzzy in the last few years but practicing gratitude just puts you in a good headspace. My first two thoughts upon waking are that I am thankful for this day and Olive, my moonbeam. And I am genuinely grateful for both. In the time of Covid, we should all fully appreciate that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow and if you get to move through the day basically healthy, you’re ahead of the game. As for my darling girl, she brings such a tremendous amount of love, joy and affection to my life that I can scarcely believe my good fortune. When I go to sleep at night, I start off the same way but then tick through all the things that happened for which I am thankful. They are generally very small, such as running or walking in the park, accomplishing whatever I hoped to, etc., but they make me happy in some way and are worth acknowledging. As for the things that didn’t go my way, I acknowledge them as well and hope the next day will bring clarity to achieve a successful resolution.
Find the beauty that surrounds you. There is beauty everywhere and it is helpful to really see it when things seem their darkest. Before we went into lockdown in March 2020, I was grappling with a respiratory problem and couldn’t exercise. I am all about my routine and in the past, not working out has left me feeling out of sorts and untethered. Desperate to avoid that, I started taking daily walks in Central Park which became my salvation. I realized that it didn’t matter what the activity was, simply that I was hewing to my routine in some way. As we moved into lockdown and the outlook was so grim, being surrounded by the trees, plants, flowers, grass, birds and squirrels became a tangible reminder that there is beauty everywhere.
Slow and steady can win the race. I’ve done any number of drastic diets where I’ve lost a lot of weight at the start, but it wasn’t sustainable (looking at you, Atkins). I’ve successfully maintained my weight loss after years of yo-yo dieting because I finally understood that it was forever. I had to find a way to eat that I could follow – and enjoy – for the rest of my life. Hence my daily treats. Unless it’s required due to a medical condition, I want no part of a life without sugar and carbs. There’s a reason for the fable about the tortoise and the hare. Whatever the goal, sometimes less is more so find a plan that works for you and worry less about the timeline.
Drink more water. Really, it’s that important. If you don’t love water, try tea, seltzer or Crystal Light-type beverages. The more you drink the thirstier you become overall. And if you’re thirsty, you’re dehydrated so don’t get to that point.
Eat more fruits and vegetables. I easily get the recommended number of servings a day because I genuinely like them but if you don’t eat any, focus on having one a day, then two and so on.
Get enough (or more) sleep. Being tired will almost certainly fuel the desire for mindless nighttime eating. I’ve found it is far better to retreat to my room with my sweetie girl, no matter how early, and go to bed.
Move more. I used to work out when I was thin and barely moved when I was heavy. I was very all or nothing and there is a lot to be said for finding the middle ground or searching for the gray in a black and white worldview. I am very fortunate that I live close to Central Park, and I feel very safe in my neighborhood. But even in my extremely urban landscape, there are any number of pocket parks around the city. I find it calming and restorative just to walk in the park and be in nature. Other than Olive, nothing else transports me so quickly to a place of peace. Start out slow (literally) and walk for five or 10 minutes and build from there. You may be surprised how uplifting it is just to be in nature. If you make your way outside, try not to focus on what you look like. No one cares, just as you likely don’t care what the people around you look like in their work out togs. And if someone makes a rude comment, try to feel pity for them because how unhappy must they be that this is the only way they can make themselves feel better?
Make doctor/dentist appointments. For many years I didn’t like to be seen or touched and this extended to doctors and dentists. As a result, I only went when something was wrong and even that was after giving whatever problem I was having a good long time to fix itself. I’m fortunate that I’ve been healthy, and it hasn’t been too much of an issue although you can debate the wisdom in never seeking out preventive care, doing age-related screenings, etc.
So, why the avoidance? All doctor visits are traumatic because you’re exposed and weighed. And both pieces of that matter. A lot. And if all doctor visits are invasive, the absolute worst is the gynecologist. You are utterly exposed and vulnerable in addition to being probed in areas that most people with a history of sexual abuse desperately try to protect. Because an exam was so fraught and I wasn’t sexually active, I didn’t go to a gynecologist between the ages of 40 and 50. Again, I was fortunate that nothing was wrong with me but lots of disease manifests without showing symptoms or signs.
As far as my teeth go, I am considerably less lucky. I didn’t get regular check-ups as a child and had a ridiculous number of cavities. Also, I love to essentially bathe my teeth in sugar thanks to a hard candy and lollipop habit. Added together, it is way more time at the dentist than I care to think about.
When I was in therapy, my shrink encouraged me to be open with healthcare providers about how I was feeling and also to share my history of abuse. Neither one of those things was going to happen. Instead, my shrink and I strategized ways to make it more manageable including listening to soothing music, imagining something pleasurable and tactile such as petting Olive and at least clueing my dentist in to the fact that I was on the verge of a panic attack, even if she didn’t know why. As for the weighing, that’s tough. Try to remind yourself that it’s only data, not a judgment. It is indicative of a point in time, now, and not tomorrow.
Carve out a few minutes for self-care. Given my aversion to the dentist, you’d think I would have practiced the best dental hygiene, but I rarely flossed. It just didn’t seem important or worth the time. Same with putting on lotion, even though I have both eczema and psoriasis. I just didn’t care enough about myself to take the scant amount of time necessary to do these small things for myself. Neither one is life changing but both contribute positively to my overall health and wellbeing and are most definitely worth the two minutes they take.
I know from my own experience that it’s tempting to try and make huge life changes at the start of the year, but I’ve also learned to embrace the notion of progress, not perfection. I am not perfect and it’s unrealistic that I will embark on anything, no matter how noble, and expect it to be a straight line to the finish. The goal is to move forward more than backward and that is highly achievable if I set my sights on just being better than I was the day before.
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy new year filled with peace and joy.
