15 Things to Consider Before Binging
When I’ve been in the grip of a binge, the time for stopping and thinking has passed. But there have been plenty of times when I could talk myself into or out of a binge. The talking yourself into is when you say, “Fuck it, I’ve already been bad, I may as well keep going.” I used to believe that, but I recognize that it’s never too late to stop. One of my favorite things I heard at a Weight Watchers meeting was, “If you break one egg, do you break the rest of the dozen?” or, “If you miss your stop on the freeway, do you keep going or turn around?” It’s never too late to make a new choice. And far better to eat an extra 500 (or 1,000 or 2,000) calories than 5,000.
Here is the list of 15 things I came up with for myself to consider in those moments where I felt like I could go either way. I printed it out and found it surprisingly helpful. It is very specific to me but I’m hopeful there are common themes that will resonate with you too. I added some background information to clarify where I was at when I devised the list.
If you’re hungry, have something to eat that is healthful and filling, even if you eat more calories than you should. When I was on a diet, I was so rigid that I wouldn’t exceed my points or calories even if I was starving. This was always a mistake and made me more apt to go off the deep end.
Not all food is created equal, a hardboiled egg, piece of fruit, or string cheese is a good choice. If I was truly hungry, something healthful did the trick. If all I wanted to eat was doughnuts or candy, it wasn’t about true hunger.
No matter how delicious the desired food, is the 15 minutes of pleasure worth the punishment to follow? Let’s say I wanted a single cupcake that clocked in at 400 calories. It should be a given that the cupcake was not on the plan. Would I eat it and happily move on? No, I would torture myself for hours if not days to come. Was it worth it?
Will it be enough, or will you have to keep eating until you pass out? So, let’s stay with the cupcake. Is it about a single delicious cupcake or is it about the act of eating? If the latter, one or two or three wasn’t going to be enough. I would need to eat myself into a sugar-induced coma, pass out and repeat.
Think about how shitty it will make you feel physically.
Think about how shitty it will make you feel mentally.
Think about your upcoming vacation and what it will be like to wear a bathing suit. I do a variation of this still in which I think about upcoming social outings and what I plan to wear.
Look at your clothes – do you like the way they fit?
Think about how far you’ve come – you started at 252 pounds and a size 20.
As depressing as it is to want to lose another 20 pounds, how much worse is 30?
Think about your workouts or personal training sessions. Nothing keeps me tethered more than running and I think about what I’m eating so that I won’t feel sick the next morning. While I can slog through a gym workout feeling bloated and queasy, hauling my ass around the park the morning after a binge is miserable in every conceivable way.
Try to think about what is driving the desire. If it’s true hunger, eat. If it’s something else, try to figure out what.
It’s okay to be sad, lonely, disappointed and angry. Or tired. The best thing I’ve learned to do when I want to mindlessly eat at night is to give myself permission to go to bed, even if it’s 8:30 p.m.
Even if you think you don’t deserve to achieve your goals because it’s your fault, haven’t you paid your debt? I struggled with whether what happened to me was my fault. At one point I decided that even if it was, I had been punishing myself for more than 30 years. My debt was paid, and I did my time.
Isn’t it time to let yourself out of prison? I locked myself away from the world for a very long time. No matter how beautiful or comfortable, a prison is still a prison. Post-pandemic note: I didn’t struggle with lockdown at all and still only begrudgingly leave Olive and our apartment.
